Take Nothing

He glanced at the road ahead of him. The sun was high in the sky and the air was hot and dry. He’d been walking for hours and what little bit of water he had left in his skin when he walked out of the town gates was gone, save for a few drops that were bound to be as hot as the wind washing over him. Holding his hand above his eyes to shade them from the burning sun overhead, he followed the gravel-and-dirt road that stretched out in front of him to a faint outline on the horizon. Then he looked down at the thick layer of dust covering his feet and sandals, at the tattered cloth that covered him from shoulder to ankle, and finally, at his empty hands.

"Take nothing for the journey--no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra shirt."

As Teacher had commanded, he was indeed traveling light. Glancing up at the sun and then back to the horizon he estimated he could make the next town by nightfall.

Hours ticked away as thought after thought and prayer after prayer drifted through his mind and across his lips, giving thanks with each step, each crunch of the rock and dirt shifting beneath his weight. Sweat trickled from his forehead and down his cheek, be he seemed not to care. His focus directed at reaching the next town before night, he ignored the heat of the day and thought of cooler breezes and shade filled with the sounds of victorious singing and celebration.

The short walls of the next town began to rise ahead of him and the road became less empty as those going to and from the small village went about their business. Most paid him little attention, though some eyed him cautiously. Perhaps it was the smile on his face, or maybe his appearance was a little more road-ragged than expected. To those who looked his way he smiled and wished many blessings upon them. Some smiled. Some sneered. Some merely stared. When he asked if any had heard of the Messiah, most simply laughed or looked at him as if he were mad.

Reaching the town gate, his progress became hindered by two guardsmen who quickly rose from their paltry seats in the shade to bar the way past the gate. “State your business.”

            “I’ve come to tell the Good News! I’ve come to bring healing to those in need!” He said.

“What good news? One of the guardsmen asked.

“What healing?” The other queried.

“The Messiah has come and has given me the power to heal in his name! I must tell everyone who will listen!”

The two guardsmen glanced at each other and smiled. Without a word, they nodded to one another and took a step closer.

The guard to his left asked, “Why don’t you tell us all about your messiah, and we will spread the word for ya? That way, you can move on to the next town and won’t have to waste your time here. Okay?”

Frowning slightly, he closed his eyes for a brief moment then opened them again. “Will you allow me in if I am in the company of someone who lives here?”

Rolling his eyes, the guard standing to his right said, “Listen. If you can get anyone in this town to invite you into their home, we will not only let you in, but we will walk behind you proclaiming your good news all the way. Deal?”

His frown shifted up into a broad smile. “Deal.”

(To be continued…)

I Fall the Farthest

I fall the farthest from His grace,
when I am standing still;
It's not the idleness of my hands that lead me away,
but the idleness of my will.

In the quiet moments when peace should reign,
my thoughts drain my resolve,
its wandering lonely in my memories,
that my hope begins to dissolve.

And when I am at my weakest
and I believe I am nothing at all,
that I look down from the edge into nothingness,
and see no bottom to my fall.

"Look up, not down" I hear Him whisper,
and I feel his love soothing my fears,
as He lifts me into His arms,
His comforting voice is the only sound I hear.

He shields me from me,
for as long as I am in need,
and he waits patiently for me to stop trying to control it all,
and just lay it at His feet.

A little bit of fiction, part deux...

           

 (Continued…) A shadow passed over the open refrigerator, startling Margo. She dropped down into a crouching position and turned to face the open kitchen window with wide, panicked eyes. Holding her breath for several long moments, Margo looked intently around the room at all the windows and doors for signs of movement. Slowly she closed her eyes and exhaled, letting the tension drop from her face and shoulders.

                Margo stood and walked timidly toward the window above the kitchen sink. Intently, she looked out in every direction, leaning as far into the screen as she could go in order to see as far as the angle would allow. Finally, she stepped away from the window with a confused look on her face, then shrugged as she walked back to the refrigerator. As she reached out to grab the door and open it, the sound of a door shutting somewhere in the house caused Margo to freeze. Her eyes grew wide as footsteps echoed into the kitchen from beyond the closed door that blocked her view of the hallway beyond. Slowly, Margo crept over to the back door of the kitchen and unlocked it, wincing as the bolt slid back with a loud click. She paused only for a second then yanked open the door and stepped outside, pulling the door closed behind her as quickly as she could. Her back against the wall beside the kitchen door, Margo could hear the door open into the kitchen from the hallway followed by slow, steady footsteps on the floor, getting louder with each passing moment. Margo looked quickly around for any place she could hide, then headed for the corner of the house away from the kitchen. Just as she was about to turn the corner, she heard the sound of the deadbolt on the kitchen locking back into place. She stopped and peered around the corner of the house quickly then yanked her head back.

Slowly, Margo peeked back around the corner at the two cars sitting in front of the house and the people sitting in them. One of the vehicles, a shiny, red sports car, sat idling with a low rumble that Margo could almost feel vibrating in her teeth. The car looked brand new, as did the woman sitting on the passenger side of the car with thick, black hair and sunglasses.  Margo studied the woman’s face but nothing about her seemed familiar.

Margo then turned her attention to the other car. It was an older model car with four doors and old faded blue paint. The front bumper was missing. She could only make out the thin shadowed face of the driver as he kept nervously turning his back to face the front of the house and then back toward the front of the car. Every few seconds or so he would rev the engine slightly, then peer eagerly at the front of the house. After a few moments of watching the cars, Margo heard the creak of the screen door opening and she turned to see a tall, thin man stroll out of the house and walk quickly toward the red sports car. The dark-haired woman waved eagerly as the man walked around the front of the car to the driver side. He pulled the door open quickly and then waved his hand at the faded blue car. The driver stuck his hand out the window and waved, then stomped on the gas leaving the sound of spinning wheels behind him as he pulled away.

(To Be Continued…)

Words

    

I recently had the distinct pleasure of taking Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University. It was a very informative course and we’re working through the process of implementing much of what we learned while taking the course. I highly recommend taking it, or, at the very least, check out his book The Total Money Makeover.

One thing in particular that Dave said that has stuck with us is the idea that since cash weighs more than a credit card, we will notice the difference in paying with cash more than we would by swiping the card. And man, was he right. Going to the bank to take out the money that we would normally have spent via our debit card was such a weird feeling. Later, when we needed to hand over several bills to pay for something we would normally just swipe and go, it felt much more difficult to spend that money. Even going out to dinner felt different when we paid with cash over using the card. On the one hand, handing over half our entertainment money for the month hurt a little, but on the other hand, I found myself giving more of a tip than I normally would have, as if I wanted someone else to enjoy the weight I was letting go of.

I know – totally weird, right?

I wish I could say my $1.18 a day Diet Dew habit weighed me down enough to stop. Alas, when I try, I still go on and Dew it…

You saw that joke coming, right?

The main point of this post, however, isn’t about Financial Peace University or Dave Ramsey. What I really want to discuss is something else that has weight but I believe is taken for granted much of the time.

This particular thing technically has no weight and could be said to be lighter than air. However, this particular object has the power of life and death, healing and wounding, and in certain situations, the key to immortality.

Neil Kennedy told a story at a Men’s get together wherein his daughter had said to him that she 
needed a new phone. He in return corrected her, by telling her that she wanted a new phone, but didn’t need one.

And there is the crux of my discussion. Words.

They can slice, dice and even make Julian cry.

Who is Julian, you ask? I don’t know – I thought he came with you.

While there’s plenty in our global bowl of dialect-o’s to decipher as awesome or dangerous, it is the words we piece together that are in truth deceptions that are tolerated, even ignored, although their implication and intention are often heavier than our response suggests.

Phrases like “I can’t…”, “I need…”, or “I have to…” can imply that the speaker has no choice in the matter and their desire to do or not do something is restricted by a force or situation that has  held them against their will or they could die if they don’t receive or get something right now.

Right. This. Second.

I’m not saying that any time these words are put together that someone is being misleading. Not at all. We all have moments when we truly need something or can’t do something. However, I do think that there are plenty of times these little beauties are dropped not to imply the lack of anything but patience or desire.

For example:  Can’t

“I can’t help you…” Enter whatever you’re being asked to do and the excuse you want to support the reason why you can’t here. Here are some doozies I’ve heard (and sadly, possibly may have even used at one point in time).

“I can’t help you move. I have to mow the lawn.” Ok, I can admit my lawn gets pretty gnarly when the weather’s been wet and when I start to hear jungle sounds outside the windows, I begin to develop a sense of urgency. Still, I think most people needing help to move would agree this is a bad excuse, and at most, it’s a lie. A truer statement might be, “I’m sorry. I would rather cut my lawn than help you move.”

But that’s not very nice thing to say, D? True enough, and while honest, it isn’t exactly a very loving thing to tell someone. So maybe the lie is meant to spare someone the awful feeling of being told that they are a lower priority than the always-gonna-be-there-Bermuda grass?

Mmhmm. Yeah. Not exactly better in my book…

“I can’t finish that now. I have to get a haircut.” While your scalp may not grow grass as long as your yard will, I’m betting the old pompadour grease and swirl will wait another day.

“I can’t help you shampoo the carpet. I have a date.” Seriously? If it takes you all day to prepare for a date, you are already starting too late and should consider calling it off because she might be too good for you.

Unless it’s a date with your wife. Then this is obviously a true life-or-death situation AND she IS too good for you. As you were.

However, ask yourself – if you stated these situations another, possibly more honest way like “I could but I don’t want to” or “I could but I have other things I have set as a higher priority”, would that make you feel a little different about the situation? About yourself?

Next on the hit parade: Need

Finish this sentence: “I Need…”

If the next word isn’t Jesus, God, or a prayer, stop. The fact that you’re reading this implies you have the capability to survive not having whatever it is you are putting as the subject of your desire and death may only be imminent because you’re reading this while you’re driving or walking.

Yes, there are sincere needs. I just listed 3 of them. Yes, there are times when we truly feel we need something that we don’t actually need, but the desire for it is enough to ball up in the gut. Rent, gas money and food are enough to trigger the need response for sure.

But even those, as precious as they may seem, are not akin to dying if you don’t have them. Yes, there are plenty of people who need those things or they’re going to be in serious trouble. Many times this happens because people don’t want to ask for help or may not know how or who to ask. I know I don’t. No matter how bad I might need it, I hate to ask for anything. Thankfully, I’ve gotten over some of that pride stuff thanks to the Big Man upstairs. If you truly are in need of something, ask. Ask a local church, food bank, or social services. That’s what they’re there for – to help you in times of need.

If however what you need is to be patient and wait until that thing you want so bad comes your way, you might notice a change in your tone when you state “I want”. Saying “I want” all the time instead of “I need” creates a sense of recognition in perhaps how selfish we might be.

“I have to…”

Breathe air? Drink water? Eat food? Beyond these and a few that involve shelter, your family and maybe your job, saying I have to is very similar to I need – I have to do this thing, with my will or against it, else I shall perish from existence. Oh woe is me!

I had a point here – I swear!

The best way I can say this is straight out. If you say “I can’t” when you don’t want to, “I need” when you just want something really bad, or “I have to” when you’re simply choosing to make something a higher priority in your decision making process, own up to it.

No, I am not suggesting you be honest in the sense that you hurt others in the process, although maybe you should so they at least know where they really stand with you.

Be honest with yourself first. Is there truly a reason why you can’t do something, or is it because you don’t want to be inconvenienced? If it’s the latter, then you should go ahead and do it. You’ll probably find that when all is said and done, you’ll feel better than you did before you agreed, especially if that something is helping someone else. Even if it’s something you shouldn’t do, saying “I can’t” implies you’re powerless when in truth, you’re not. Exclaim your weakness to the world and ask someone to join up with you and can help you through it.

Psalm 34:13 says, “keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.”

Recognize the weight of your words. Examine your words and judge for yourself what the truth is in comparison to what is being said and demand, even if it is only from yourself, that the truth and only the truth be spoken.

In time, you might find yourself with more people to hang out with that have to have nothing more from you than your company, and you don’t need anything more urgently than the One who brought you this far and the One who always provides exactly what you need.

What do you think?

The Gift of Desperation

For our date night tonight, Carol and I had dinner at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants, Los Cabos, and enjoyed a free concert put on by KXOJ that starred David Dunn and Among the Thirsty. All are incredible musicians with a desire to serve God and the music that God makes through them is amazing. If you're unfamiliar with their work, I recommend "Completely" by Among the Thirsty and "Today is Beautiful" by David Dunn. 

In between songs, each talked a bit about their life experiences and the ways that God teaches us wisdom. Mr. Dunn spoke of an analogy in which his nephew, who was 3-years old at the time of the story, had a meltdown at Disneyland because he wasn't able to push his younger brother's stroller. It is from witnessing this event that taught him how much kids are a real example of our sin self. Kids have no masks to hide their desires, their anger or their frustrations with life. They lay it out for everyone to see and experience and regardless of the reality of the situation, all they can see is the immediate source of their problem. David pointed out how, if his nephew would have just looked up and away from the source of his problem, he would have realized where he was, that the problem really wasn't that serious, and that his father already had the matter well in hand.

An interesting point, and a very truthful one at that.

The more direct point made during the concert and the focus of the remainder of this post is when Among the Thirsty's front man, Ryan Daniel, discussed how desperation is a gift, because it isn't until we reach the point of desperation, the end of ourselves, that we are able to truly see how much we need God. He likened his point to the book of James, chapter 1, when James instructs that we should take Joy in our trials, because it is those things that will take us to the point in which we recognize just how much, how desperately we truly need God. It is also at that point, that we begin to understand the power of the gift that we have been given in Jesus.

One part of his illustration that was very clear and powerful is this, "If you put your identity in something that can be taken away, it will destroy you."

If you see yourself defined by anything worldly - your social status, your job, your possessions, even by your role in your family or church - all of these are things that can easily disappear without notice. When they're gone, all that you valued in yourself, all that you believed about who you are, is gone. 

Period. End of story. 

And to help drive that point home even more, there is nothing - NOTHING - that is of this world that is not temporary. Carve your name on any mountain you want, or as many as you want, and all it takes is a little earthquake to shake you up. Bury your name at the bottom of the sea, and one day when the seas boil, the only thing your identity will be is all wet. as it says in Matthew 24:35, "Heaven and Earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."

Anything you can think of in heaven or earth won't last. Every building laid low, mountains ground to dust. The world will be a level playing field, because everything that you used to build you up will be gone, nothing more than dust, and probably much less.

God, however, is the only perpetual provider that lives outside of our short-term universe and only He can be the immortal presenter of our principled presence, the keeper of our incorruptible character, and the irreversible vigilant preserver of our vindicated value.

Whatever your struggle is right now, I would make two recommendation. First - As hard as the struggle is, as big as the problem seems to be right this minute, stop. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Then, turn around and open your eyes. Tilt your head back and look up, down or to the side, any direction other than the one that points right back to the issue at hand. 

The second thing, which immediately follows the first, is to pray. Don't pray for the problem to be resolved or the issue to go away. Pray instead, either for the wisdom to use the situation for good or for help reaching your point of desperation. Either one is a much better direction than focusing solely on the problem and wishing for it to be taken away. 

We wouldn't grow if things were just taken away. Better to humble ourselves, to accept with pure joy whatever trial we are facing and give thanks to God for every moment of it, than to ask God to take away something that He is going to use to make us stronger and wiser.

Instead, turn your face into the storm and pray on. 

Pray for the end of you. 

Pray for the gift of desperation.

A little bit of fiction...

I thought I would change things up a bit since I missed yesterday and wanted to try something a little different. This story, or part of it, has been bouncing around in my head for the past couple of days. Figured it was time to let it out. I do, of course, welcome any comments and kind critique.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Margo leaned heavily against the kitchen door, cringing as the hinges moaned in defiance of the door’s effort to swing forward. Pausing, Margo stared into the center of the room, looking intently at the myriad of shadows that clung to the walls. Slowly stepping into the room she carefully lowered herself down onto the kitchen chair closest to her, clenching as the wood seat creaked and moaned beneath her. Margo exhaled slowly into the pale night air as her shoulders drooped and her hands fell to her sides. Moments passed in complete silence as her head bobbed slower and slower until her chin fell against her chest and her breathing became deep and steady.

The sound of wind chimes and a rooster crowing loudly outside the kitchen window jolted Margo awake. Bright sunlight poured in through the small kitchen window above the sink, forcing her to look away until her eyes adjusted enough that she could see fully the crisp white walls and polished counter tops. Wincing as she rose, Margo limped closer to the kitchen window and peered outside. Chickens pecked at the dry, ruddy-brown dirt that lay in patches around the yard as a rising breeze billowed through white sheets hanging on a clothesline near the fence at the back of the yard. Wind chimes hanging from a fat oak outside the back door grew louder with each rising gust only to drift into quiet melodies as the breeze fell away.

Quietly Margo opened a drawer and rifled through the contents which seemed to be nothing more than faded receipts and twist ties. Frowning she pushed the drawer back in and then repeated the process on the one next to it, which was full of nothing but plastic spoons and packets of ketchup and mustard. Margo’s stomach rumbled loudly as she shifted her gaze toward the refrigerator that sat humming softly on the other side of the back door. Quickly she worked her way through all the remaining drawers and cabinets, rummaging quickly through each before putting everything back just as it had been. With a resigned sigh, Margo turned and limped across the room to the refrigerator.

The reflection of the kitchen window behind Margo showed clearly on the brushed aluminum door of the refrigerator. Margo pulled open the door and peered inside as a wry smile creased her dirt-streaked face. Voraciously she grabbed a piece of cold fried chicken that was sitting on a plate on the middle shelf and wolfed it down as crumbs of fried batter feel down the front of her shirt. Picking the bone clean, she tossed it back onto the plate and reached for another piece. As she leaned down she spotted a large bottle of water sitting on the top shelf in the back of the refrigerator. Margo quickly grabbed the bottle and twisted the lid off, letting it fall to the floor where it bounced around her feet. Then, closing her eyes and letting her head fall back, she lifted the bottle up to her lips and poured the water into her mouth, guzzling it down quickly as it overflowed her lips and ran down the sides of her face.

(To be continued…)

Drivers Education

Once upon a time, I took a class called drivers education. It was still offered in school, so it was free and we were graded on how well we did. Of course, that was many long years ago, back when people used their blinkers to signal a turn they were going to make BEFORE they turned and drivers wanting to turn into a driveway on the left-hand side of the road just after a stop light actually used the left hand turn lane to turn left and then make a legal right-hand turn into the place they were trying to go.

That seems like such a long, long, LONG time ago.

What’s troubling to me is that driver courtesy seems to have almost vanished in such a short time. First, and seemingly just a few years ago, there were a few people here and there that didn’t use their blinkers. Now it seems more like people use their blinkers only on a rare occasion or when doing so doesn’t prove to be overtaxing. Practically every day when I am on my drive home I see people who will go through the light only to make a left-hand turn at the very next driveway. This means crossing a double-yellow line and two lanes of oncoming traffic in order to turn into the same driveway they could have reached by taking the left turn lane and making a right turn. Instead, they block the lane they’re in for several minutes waiting for a way through. And don’t get me started about the people who think the right-hand merge lane is now the go-as-fast-as-you-can-to-get-passed-everyone-in-the-left-hand-lane-causing-them-to-brake-and-force-a-long-line-of-cars-to-stop-to-make-room-for-my-inept-merge-attempt lane.

What troubles me more is these are people setting examples for other drivers. And if we’re willing to treat our 2-ton brick-on-wheels as our own personal bully machine, what other areas are we choosing to allow our personal bias for selfish endeavors have full reign?

I get it – people are in a hurry. Heaven forbid we set our clocks back 10 minutes earlier, eat a little faster, or ignore our phone a little longer until we’re ready to leave for work with enough time to get there early. We’ve got important things to do and places to be!  

And maybe therein lies the crux of the problem. We’ve ignored priority. Sure we can all multi-task, especially when it comes to driving and doing anything with a cell phone, but in truth, are we learning how to multitask better or are we on a fast-paced plunge to get everything done at once, as fast as possible, so we can move onto the next thing? Maybe we have foolishly bitten off more than we can chew? I do that, far too often. It becomes a struggle between doing the things I love doing, the things I would like to do, and meeting the necessities of life.

Normally I would say make a list, check it off, and eventually you’ll see the bottom. Sadly, and probably far too often, the list fills up again long before we finish the bottom, leaving us struggling to get done what we already had and wondering how we will get that stuff done alongside everything else we have on our never-gonna-get-done list.

It’s no wonder one of God’s best commands involves simply being still. Don’t worry, don’t fret, don’t panic, don’t stress, don’t jump, don’t run, don’t freak out – just be still, and know that the responsibility for making it all happen doesn’t lay on your shoulders, but on His.

Didn’t get that new job or promotion?

Be still.

Can’t figure out where the money for the rent is coming from this month?

Be still.

Don’t know how you’ll pay for your kid’s college tuition?

Be still.

Don’t know how you’ll ever make amends for what you did?

Be still.

Don’t know how you’ll ever get them to believe you again?

Be still.

And when is the best time to be still? When you’re praying, changing the passing of time to the obliteration of time in the presence of God. Will He make your twenty minute commute into a five minute one? Probably not, but He might. He might also show you an entirely new route, one you’ve never seen before. A route filled with possibilities and hope, all for the simple price of being still.

So, with that in mind, I ask you: what is it that you are not being still about? What is it that has you vibrating like so many guitar strings and unable to clear your head for fear that your tenuous grip on reality will be lessened?

Speak it out loud and recognize openly that you can’t defeat it by yourself. You need someone who knows exactly what it takes to throw this kind of challenge on the mat and then toss it out of the ring. There’s only one person who knows your struggles better than you do, and He doesn’t want to add to them. He’s not about laying down the law or forcing a change for his own sake, but He is about doing what’s right and giving you what you need – not just to survive and claw your way through another day, but to live joyfully and free.

And that is a straight, narrow road, just waiting for someone to prove that the best and quickest way to get where you need to be, is to simply be still and let God do all the heavy lifting.