I wonder...

I'm supposed to be cleaning out the storage room so I don't have to pay another month's rent, but, as often as I should know better, a thought hit me and I decided that those brave enough to look should have a moment (or several...) to peer inside my mind.

Hey - you clicked the link.

You can’t hide under a rock without being besieged by opinions and judgments of who should or shouldn't be allowed to make decisions for us in the arena of government. I personally am tired of hearing about it. It seems more like frivolous daydream than any form of reality anymore. But then I started thinking...

This is the part where you start running...

Listen to those who voice those opinions, and study those who are among our options, and the ultimate decision isn’t one of our right to choose, but to be yoked, forced, not to decide who is right for the job, but who has the best campaign manager and speech writers, and who is favored by the broadcasting corporation who benefits by showing you only that which will sway your decision or the information that is strategically released for us to uncover.

We live in a world of choices. We want what is best for our lives, and we let that hinge solely on a decision of a human being, no different from any other; from ourselves; Someone we are likely to never shake the hand of or speak to face to face, someone we hope is truthful and honorable, without ever knowing more of their character than what has been deemed best to be shown to us.

You know - like a comic book hero?

Will they be fair? Fair to you? Fair to me? Fair to those who have less than us or more? We opine they will give us all that we ask for, or that they will strip from us that which we hold dear, and we suffer, rarely in silence, hoping that our freedom to do as we will is never taken away, and rallying in anger at the thought that a single moment of choice will be ripped from our hands, even when that choice may have never been one we chose to pursue until the merest suggestion of its loss.

How many guns would we buy if we knew that tomorrow, we could buy no more? How much gold would we plunder if tomorrow it would no longer exist?

How many would turn to God, if tomorrow He would be taken from your ability to choose?

Should we demand we are given more, that what we have is not enough? We sell ourselves into bondage daily, and then rail against those we want to blame that they have taken from us what we have freely given. We choose and then stand with mouths agape when our champion is the same imperfect being that we are, making choices we foisted upon them. “They asked for it”, we say. “They campaigned for the job”, we shout, and then laugh in stooped superiority as they ask for us to be understanding.

And what if we were given all that we asked, all that we demand is our right to have? Would we be silent and content, never asking for more? Would we then turn away from our own desires to lend a hand to those who are shivering in the rain, cowering in the dark, whose aching and empty bellies growl with the contempt of our wasted pleasures? Hasn’t it been proven time and time again that it is from darkness that our line shines brightest? That, it is then, when we have nothing that we then turn to others and give to them all that it is that we have left? We give meager crumbs in time of plenty, and sacrifice all that we have when we have nothing.

When we finally see each other as the equals that we are?

So then, whom should we seek to place in power over us? Those who would give us all that we ask, or one who would lighten our load by increasing our hardships? If we are stripped of our idols and our insatiable hunger for the spoils of a battle we did not fight, will we not then prosper? Would we not be better served to show to all that we are not a land of plenty, but a plentiful land of people who, under hardship, grow and prosper in the beauty of our hearts, rather than the beauty of our homes, our vanity, or the digitally enhanced splendor of our vacation photos?

We wait for sudden disaster or displeasure to show who we are, while all the while the true disaster approaches in silence, veiled beneath our quickened pulse over the loss of our right to speak as we will, do as we will, ignore others, as we do. If we expended as much concern for those who are beside us every day, as we do for those who are beyond our reach, how little, truly, would we ever have the need to ask for?

I'm naive. I know that. I'm a dreamer of fantasies, and unwilling to accept that the world is what it is. I believe it can change, we can change. What I say isn't any different than all the other rhetoric out there. 

But I also believe that so much time is spent on this political drama, that it feels like more of a distraction than anything worthwhile. How much good could all the money that goes into these campaigns do if were better utilized? How many could the shelters house with the millions spent on advertising? How many could be fed with all the food that is wasted in parties to curry favor and donations?

And while I'm on my plucky little tirade, I may as well go a little further... 

Believe what you will about Christianity, the Bible, and God. There is a simple fact - Christ lived and died and lives now. How do I know? Other than my own personal experiences, you can spend about an hour on the internet and get all the research you need. But, Even if you believe He was nothing more than a man, that man set in motion events that have led to right now, this moment. For all the bad many may want to point to about the things done throughout history in the name of religion, there have been those with real faith working in the trenches, led by God, to spread His word, to cultivate the things we often take for granted. Inspiration has freed slaves, fed multitudes, healed the sick, housed the homeless, and helped those who felt they had nothing left, that life was not worth living, go on to do great things, not for their pride or ego, but for the One who made it possible for them to exist. And I'm not talking about just during thousands of years ago either.

Seriously - think about that. Would we have the freedoms we have now if it hadn't been for Him? We thank the veterans who gave their lives for the freedoms we have today - and rightly so - John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends".

There have been many throughout the centuries who have done just that, and while we herald them, I think we often forget that it all started with someone who chose not to curse, not to hate, not to tell us to pick the right president so we have all that we want, but to love. Love our enemies, love our friends, our brothers, our sisters... everyone.

God chooses who will rule over us. If we, all of us, suddenly said, "Hey government. We're not playing your game anymore until you start doing it right. We refuse to vote this time" Can you imagine the chaos? How shaken would our very world be if we, as a republic who touts democracy, practiced our right to vote by not doing it? That would be far more of a gauntlet than the paltry percentage split that the presidential race is won by now.

How much more profound would our rebuke be if it were spoken in total silence and refusal to act?

Of course, that would never happen. If you want people to act, you have to tell them they can't, not that they have a choice not to do something. It's why living a life of chosen denial can be difficult. I constantly have to tell myself it isn't that I have to try harder, it's that I simply have to choose not to do something. When you try to do something contrary to what you want, you're going to rebel. It's when you just don't, that when you stop fighting yourself and others, that the real progress begins.

And let me tell you so you don't think I'm being all sanctimonious, that I spend as much time daily asking forgiveness for my failures as I do praying for others. I screw up - a lot.

I know, I know - it's tough to believe. But yes, I too - am human.

Not doing the wrong thing can be, and sometimes is, more difficult than doing the right thing. But there's a unique difference. We don't always know what the 'right' thing is. Knowing what isn't right is usually pretty clear.

When you have the choice to give something up, it's a much harder road to walk than if what you want to do is simply not something you can do. If we were told we weren't allowed to vote, then we would revolt. If we were told we have to do something, say, pray or worship a certain way, no matter how much good may come of it, many would fight it just because they want the choice to be and do as they wish.

And that's what it is all about, isn't it? It doesn't matter what we want, we're not happy unless we can choose.

And that is a right given to us by God, from the point of creation until right now. Not by you, not by our government, and certainly not by the person we choose to put in office every four years. All those who gave up their lives, sacrificed for us, they had a choice. 

And they did it for us.

He did it for us. He did it for now.

Hrm.

So what is the big debate about again? I forget...

It's Time

Two nights ago I listened to six wonderful women talk about their recent missions trip to Belgium. They were there working with an organization known as Breaking Chains. 

You know, Belgium… It’s snuggled in there between France and Germany, for those of you who are geographically challenged. The home of those tasty waffles and sex slaves?

Mmmm, waffles and sex sl… say what?

You read what I said. Sex Slaves. Women tricked, sold, or kidnapped and then shipped around the world where they are beaten, tortured, and forced to sell their bodies to anyone who wants to use them. And I don’t mean a few. Many of them have no papers or identification, so even if they could escape the nightmare they’re being forced to live twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, they have nowhere to go. They would likely be detained and deported, right back to where it all started.

But hey… that’s ‘over there’. We don’t need to talk about that.

So one of the ladies, a good friend and a beautiful, helpful soul I’ve had the pleasure to meet and get to know, showed me this article in the July issue of the “Oklahoma” magazine.

You know, Oklahoma. It’s snuggled right here in between Texas and Missouri. Part of the famous Route 66? You might have heard about our little basketball team that thundered through this past season…?

Anyway, according to the magazine, “An FBI report states that it is well known among truck drivers that if you want good barbecue, go to Kansas City, and if you want young girls, go to Oklahoma City.”

Those ‘young girls’ they’re speaking of, are some of the one hundred thousand who “will enter the sex trade yearly. The average age of a prostitute is 14-years-old. The average entry age is 12.”

So, after they’re done sharing with us about how, when these women… these victims… were done with the few precious moments they had to spend bonding, singing, and praying, they had to go back to ‘work’. There was no escape, no freedom. Can you imagine how hard that must have been for all of them? 

Afterwards, another friend and one of the women who had been on the trip told me how she cried for two days after she got back.

And then I wanted to cry.

Barely able to breath, I drove home. I usually take I-44 – it runs right past my apartment. It lays about 300 feet away from my door. I can hear cars and trucks racing by now as I type this.

“Oklahoma with its three main major interstate highways – I-35, I-40 and I-44 – provides a pipeline out of Texas running to all ports north, east and west, a crossroads for human trafficking.”

“In early 2012, Oklahoma police and federal agents busted a major sex trafficking ring operating out of homes and apartment buildings in Oklahoma City and Tulsa”

I don’t know about you, but every time I think about it, every time I hear the sound of a car go by now, I wonder… and then I get a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It hasn’t been easy sleeping either. 

And it shouldn’t be.

But hey, that’s Oklahoma, right?

“The U.S. State Department lists America as the number one destination for human trafficking, especially of children. California, New York, Texas and Oklahoma top the list of states most active.”

There’s that sick feeling again.  I’ve lived in three of the four of those states, and was within an hour’s drive of the fourth. I didn’t know… I didn’t want to know.

“Worldwide estimates are that 27 million men, women and children are in slavery at any given time. Human trafficking, defined as the recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, or obtaining of a person for labor or services through use of force, fraud or coercion for the purpose of involuntary servitude, peonage, debt bondage or slavery, is a $32 billion industry, second only to drugs as the largest criminal activity in the world.”

But you don’t want to hear about that do you? I mean, it’s been going on for years and years, and what have we… what have I done about it? Besides, you can read the article for yourself here:

http://www.okmag.com/July-2012/Skin-Trade/

But that is literally just the tip of the iceberg.

Listen… or in this case, read. I could go on quoting about a dozen sites I’ve come across in the past two days as I tried to find a way to write this, but would it matter? The fact that you’re reading this means you have access to the internet in some form or another, so if you have one iota of curiosity, if you have any semblance of compassion for your fellow human beings, take just five minutes and do a search for human trafficking. I warn you though; be prepared.

If you need a start, go here: http://www.oathcoalition.com/

They’re based out of Oklahoma, but they have links to a lot of other sites like http://www.slaverymap.org/

They have a map that shows locations and details on various types of human trafficking that have been discovered, and their outcome. You might be surprised how close to your home… your backyard where your children, nieces, nephes, and grandchildren play… this is.

But, should you not have the will to go look for yourself, then I implore you to read on.

It is easy to say this isn’t my – or your – problem. It’s easy to say… but I would be lying. This isn’t an issue of race or immigration law, politics or religion. This is an issue of Humanity. This is a disease, and one that is out of control. Sure, it might run its course and die out. But that’s naive. Odds are, much like all the other things that we as a species have done, we’ve ignored the bully, the pimp, the ‘bad guy’ who, through our chosen ignorance and unwillingness to be the stewards of the planet we should be, have used every convenience we perceive as a benefit to perform these heinous atrocities right in front of us. Not behind our backs, not in the alley or the open field. Look outside your window… these slaves are out there right now, being beaten, tortured, raped. Some are killed for foolishly believing they could escaped, and their death isn’t swift, because they can be used as an example to others.

It doesn’t start by accident, either. People with a purpose plan this out in precise detail, and they know exactly what to do and say to play on our fears, our needs, our wants, and before we know what has happened, those rights we believe we deserve, that we claim are being taken away, really are. There’s no calling in sick to work because you feel like playing hooky, no surfing the internet for more LOL Catz or Youtube videos in the wee hours of the morning. You’re forced into hellish living conditions, given barely anything to eat, forced to work endlessly, and if you speak out, don’t meet working expectations, try to leave.. Well, the day doesn’t end with complaining to your Facebook friends about what a sucky day you’ve had so you can reap their sympathy as you lament the awfulness of your daily life.

But maybe this isn’t hitting home for you. Maybe your more worried about your home life, your job, your car. Maybe your kids are driving you nuts and no matter how hard you try, you just can’t communicate to them what is you want them to do. To that I say this – Find a way. Get in their lives, find out who their friends are, find out what they’re posting online and who they are talking to. Tell them and show them you love them and how much every second of every day. If you think they’re too young to go out unsupervised, don’t let them. These people are experts at what they do, and they know how to communicate with your kids better than you. 

Before you can ask what happened, they’ll be gone. Maybe, just maybe they’ll be found or they’ll come home. 

Or maybe they won’t.

You might wonder why I am bothering. I could post a link and be done with it. Maybe I am doing this because it’s the Christian thing to do. Well duh. But it is more than that. It is so much more than that. There’s a lot of things in this world that make me ill, but I’ve managed to reason away my ability to do anything for years. Yes, I’m commanded to love others, but the commandment alone won’t make me love anyone or care what happens to them. I could point to the resolution I signed a few months ago, wherein I swore before God and my church that “I will confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy”. I whole heartedly made that resolution, and if that was the only reason I had, it would be enough.

But the real reason is simply this. I have to. If I don't say something, do something, how can I live with myself?

Maybe you want to ask, “Why would God let this happen?” and to that I have an answer, and it’s so obvious, I feel silly for having to say it. I’m paraphrasing a man by the name of Dave Roever who spoke at my church not long ago, but it goes something like this; 

God didn’t get us into this. We did.

We can ask God for His help, and he will give it, but we have to do our part. We have to act, and He will give all of us the strength we need to persevere, the mercy we need to pull us up when we’ve fallen and feel we can't go on, and the healing we – and the victims of this mess – need once the battle is over.

And for those who don’t believe in Christ, God, or anything but yourself? Then it falls squarely on your shoulders too. You don’t get a pass just because you don’t believe in something higher than yourself. In fact, if you are your own god, it is still your life and your world, and you’re part of it is waiting for you to act.

To let it happen when we have knowledge of it is horrifying. What does that say about us as human beings?

There’s no middle ground here. There’s no fence straddling. You’re either in or you’re out, and the only person you have to face in the mirror is yourself.

It’s estimated there are 27 million people that are slaves right now, all around the world, and there’s more added to the list every 30 seconds. Tomorrow, some of them will be dead. More of them will wish they were.

Where will you be?

Perhaps this one seems too big. Perhaps you feel there is nothing you can do. The only thing I’m asking for is your voice, whether it is vocal, written, sign language, or even rude gestures. Whatever it takes to get the message out there will at least be one more voice. And you never know – that one person you tell, may put them in a position to help one of these people, one of these human beings, out of a life of torment and depravity. Your voice may be the one that tips the scales in their favor. Your voice may be the one they hear when an opportunity to escape presents itself, and your voice may be the one that comforts them when they can’t. Your voice may be the only chance they have to survive.

First off pray. If you don’t feel you have the strength to do anything, or perhaps you just lack the will, then reach down deep inside you for every shred of emotion you have and pray for someone who does have the strength and the will to stand up in your place. Pray to whomever lifts your heart and hears your cries and ask them to motivate you and anyone else to do what is needed. Then, pray for those who don’t have the freedom you have, who need to find that light that is waiting to chase away the darkness from their lives and take away their pain.

Next, tell someone. Post a link, write an email, write your congressman, write the president, write your newspaper, television, radio stations and ask them to say something. Do something. If they refuse, then tell someone they refused and what it is they refused to do.

Next, love your children. Teach them. I don’t recommend scaring them to death, but they need to be aware just how important this is. Find out the signs to identify people in trouble. Most of the sites have lists of indicators and ask your kids if they know anyone who may be in trouble.

If you know someone who has a drug problem, do whatever you can to get them help. Some of these children are sold into slavery or forced into it by family members and friends who use them to get money for drugs. It’s insane, but you would be helping not just the kids, but the people they need most, too.

Last, Volunteer. Donate. Make or buy stickers and signs like the one’s on the Oath Coalition site and stick them everywhere someone will let you – on your car, bus stop, shop windows. Someone in need may see it, and while they may not be able to do anything with it, it tells them that they’re not alone and that someone out there is looking to help them.

Someone cares.

Beyond that… it’s in your hands. It’s a lot to take in, and if you’ve read this far, I applaud you. If you’re willing to take a stand, know you’re not alone. There are plenty of people who will stand beside you. 

And whether you believe in God or not, He believes in you. He is waiting for us to do what is right. You don’t have to do it for Him, but you should most definitely want to do it for them.

Under Construction

God wants us to use the strength we have, and He will take care of the rest. 


My purpose in writing this blog is because my strength is often found not in my voice, but in my writing, because, well, I'm still learning how to open up and talk about what goes on inside my noodle and my heart. It can take a while for me to trust people enough that I can share what I'm truly feeling. However, put a keyboard or pen in my hand, and I will usually find a way to share anything you want to know - or didn't want to know and wish you'd never asked.


God's name is the first word of my first post for a very specific reason. He is first in my life, and on my worst days, even when I wish I could hide from Him, He is the one I need. He knows the worst and best of all there is to know about me, and everything in between. As intimidating as that is, it's an important thing to remember because it keeps the ball rolling. I stumble - a lot - though I am also a lot harder on myself about things than I should be. I can forgive someone for their worst crime before I will forgive myself for my smallest mistake. So when I'm talking to God, I don't have to start off with small talk or the usual pleasantries. God knows what I have done or didn't do, and He knows how I feel about it. God always knows what I need:


"And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."
Matthew, chapter 6, verses 7-8


Me = Babbler. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I'm fighting the urge to babble on about why I babble as I'm typing this sentence...


This is my introduction. It's not great, it's not even really an introduction. It's more like a sample of what you can expect to see should you be brave enough (or bored enough) to come back, and if you think you're utterly lost as to any direction I may have somehow divulged, well then you understand plenty about me already. My compass spins like a top and the storms are always building on the horizon. God keeps the sails full and my ship moving forward, but it's up to me to keep it pointed in the right direction.
(That's the closest pirate-like symbolism I could go for without being too obvious - now you'll know what to look for in the future. Avast, matey!).


To close this particular page, I want to leave you - the reader (which is only me at the moment) - with a quote that is always there to help me remember which direction true North is:


"What you keep from God, keeps you from God" ~Pastor Jamie Austin~ 


Pretty easy to understand, hmm? If you don't get it, or don't want to, that's OK. Revelation isn't my thing. Oh, I could explain it ninety ways to Saturday, but that would be blabbering again and I would hope we've covered that by now. You let me go on long enough and you'll be sticking your fingers in your ears and going "blah, blah, blah, blah...".


Wait - what was I saying? My fingers were in my ears...