Since finding time to write lately is a problem, one that is caused more, I believe, by a lack of priority rather than time, I have decided to undergo a 500 word-a-day challenge for the month of June put on by Jeff Goins. In this endeavor, I am going to ask those brave enough (or bored enough) to read my ramblings often enough to keep me honest, encourage me if you like, critique if you wish, and trash my humble prose if you feel no other inkling.
In the essence of writing, those of us who desire to undertake such endeavors are challenged to write what we know. Of course, being a student of literalness, I am forced to ask exactly what it is that I know. I know the sun and sky this morning were absolutely brilliant. I know that my son’s laughter is intoxicating and that my wife’s smile sends me to the moon. I know, without a doubt, that when I am near them, I can remember vividly a time when they were beyond my ability to dream of and that the life I have now was so far beyond the stars that I had stopped wishing for them long ago. And it is in those moments that I know how such amazing and wonderful examples of Love, Hope, and Grace came to be major ingredients in the life I have now.
Naturally, there are struggles. God wants all that I am. And why not? He’s certainly earned it and then some. Forget earning it – He is my creator. I don’t own anything He didn’t give me. And yet, knowing that, even saying it, doesn’t necessarily mean that I am living it. Surrendering everything is a difficult task for many, I think. It certainly is for me. No matter how much I desire otherwise, giving everything to the One who gave me life turns into a battle with myself that goes against me by going exactly the way I thought I wanted to go.
A stubborn and rebellious heart is often fueled by anger and shame – chains to a past that no longer exists. Given enough time that heart begins to feel more like a lump of lifeless coal than a heart responsible for sustaining life. Eventually, the only thing being sustained is misery.
It is said that time heals all wounds. I say time just dulls the pain. Only God can heal and restore a wounded heart. Only God can tear away the scabs and leave new, healthy flesh in its place. Carry your war-torn heart as a badge of honor if you will, but life isn’t found in embracing the past hurts and holding them up like a shield. The past must be released so the new creation can thrive.
I know that no matter what happens, I am never alone. More than that, I know that I have Someone in my corner who Loves me more than anyone on this planet every could, and if I will surrender my fears, my secrets and my hurts to Him, give Him all that I am, my gain far outweighs anything and everything I could ever offer.
And the greatest thing is that He Loves each and every one of us that way.
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