Parenthood

One thing that I’ve come to realize that parenthood does is force me to look back at my life growing up and examine why I did the things I did, why my parents handled it the way they did, and then look to see what I can do with that information.

So, after careful scrutiny of my childhood up through my teenage years, coupled with the vast realizations that have been made visible to me over the past year, I can come to one conclusion: If my son is anything like me, we are in for some serious challenges.

Not exactly a monumental disclosure, I'm sure.

My mom did her best to use the usual curses on me growing up. You know, the “Just wait till you have kids” comment? The statement that, once made, proclaims with almost near certainty that I, at my worst, represent only the tip of the iceberg that my children will be as they drive right smack dab through our happy little ship.

And that’s OK. In fact, I think it’s pretty fantastic.

To help that sink in, let me go down the short list of my bad behaviors during my formative years. Most of these started during my 5^th grade year. We had moved someplace I wasn’t particularly keen on so I chose to sort of, well, act out a little.

I cheated on tests. Forged my mother’s signature on several occasions – and I did it poorly. I skipped a very large portion of my 5^th grade year. The fact they implemented a policy for dealing with tardiness and absence the very next year I’m sure was completely coincidental. I looked at things I shouldn’t have, I stole, I lied, and I broke things – then I broke things I stole then lied about it. I had teachers who believed I was such a bad seed they warned my future teachers about me.

That was just year 10 of my life.

I acted out a LOT.

Because of our situation, some would tell you that this was just me coping and acting out. Sam has it much better than I did then, so problem solved, right? Yeah, probably not. I learned a lot during those times, and while I didn't appreciate those situations at the time, I now have a healthy respect for what I learned, such as the ability to survive under adverse situations, to roll with the punches and always get back up when you've been knocked down. I learned that accepting responsibility for my actions may not be comfortable or painless, but it's better than hiding from the truth. 

I know God is watching out for all of us, something I didn’t understand or believe when I was much younger, but that knowledge now is a huge comfort both for our current situation and our future. I also had unknown prayer warriors praying for me for a very long time. Sam has even more in his corner, as do our other sons. I know they will make it home, I just hope I get to live to see the day when they accept the free ticket to get there.

But what if it’s more than that coping and acting out? I’m human, so I still get stuck in ‘me’ mode often enough that sometimes I wonder how in the world I can ever teach my son to follow and trust in God more than self when my vision is often focusing on a far-too-close-to-home target. Bad enough there’s the whole world that’s going to tell him it’s not cool to believe in God and it’s not Ok to pray or that’s it’s OK to believe in whatever you want… it is, just not if you want to get to heaven and spend eternity with God. That road is narrow and can’t be navigated without the right Source of Light.

The truth is, I can worry all I want, and I’m sure I will as time goes by. In the end, it won’t be the worrying that has the greatest impact. It’s the people that God has so liberally poured into our lives that establish a protective barrier around Sam. He is loved much by those around us, and he is always in the arms of motherly intent and surrounded by fatherly protection and wisdom wherever he goes.

Despite all those beating hearts praying for Sam, he could still one day grow up and walk away from God. I did, and that was after being raised young in a church-filled world. Then it took me over 30 years to get back to square one, just to start relearning all I thought I knew about, well, everything. But, if there’s one thing I can attest to is faith and hope. My mom had that for me, and as I would discover later, she had a nearly endless supply.

And needed every bit of it, to be sure.

The fact is, we’re better prepared for Sam now than they were with me. We have a vast book of wisdom and knowledge that can guide us in everything we do.  If we as parents will cling to that knowledge and make a concerted effort to live it out every day, then we are better able to prepare for those things that come unexpectedly. In order to do that, however, there are two solid truths we have to get etched into our brains and cling to them without wavering:

1. We cannot do it on our own. We are human and we fail. Perseverance is an incredible thing, but strength and will alone will inevitably fail and the more you rely on them and the longer you go, the greater the risk.

2. We are never left alone to deal with life's problems. Problems will come. Our world is centered on problems and our culture thrives on them. Look no further than what is popular on television to see just how much we crave the drama of things going horribly wrong. If you as a parent believe you are all alone in your attempts to protect and raise your children, see #1 above. You will get tired, you will get dragged down and you will find yourself struggling. Those things may still happen regardless of your situation, but hope always makes the darkness brighter, and God always provides a good way out of a bad situation.

If you've made it this far, then let me thank you for being such a trooper. I know why God Loves you, and He is never wrong. I hope you see the reason too. If not, let me pray now that your eyes will be opened to the truth of how awesome and special you are. Just as you see blessing in the laughter of your children, know that God sees the same thing in you.

And if by some chance you are reading this and you don't believe in Him or are running from His grace, let me urge you to stop. Hit pause for one minute and ask God to prove He is there, always with you, always Loving you. 

Tell Him what you need most. Tell Him your fears and your weaknesses. You can't shock or surprise Him. Let Him hear all that you've been holding onto in the depths of your heart.

Then, wait and see what happens next.